Stress and Depression — The Early Years
Stress and depression go hand in hand. I’m living proof of that. All of the stress from my childhood and early adult life contributed to my depression. I’ve never had the chance to recover from one life tragedy before the next one would hit. I grew up never feeling like anyone gave a shit about me.
It was a horrible existence.
There were only two people as I grew up after my dad’s death that I felt loved me. My grandmother and her sister — my great aunt. The stress of feeling like no one cares about you can also contribute to depression.
By the time I was 6 I had already been ripped from my home at the age of 3 and placed in foster homes. I lost my father. I had been separated from my brothers. The person that gave birth to me cheated on my father while he fought to get a divorce. I didn’t know about this until I read letters he wrote to my grandmother Cheray. In my post about my early childhood I mention these letters.
I remember being re-united with my brothers. It was bitter sweet. We were going to live with our maternal grandparents. It hurt like hell knowing I was going to a place where my dad wasn’t.
The person that gave birth to me had ditched me and my brothers officially when I was in first grade. She brought a guy home and told us he was going to be our new daddy. I slapped him on his left cheek and told him he would never be my daddy that my daddy was dead. She got upset with me because I slapped her boyfriend. She left with him that day and would never come back.
Just imagine for a moment being a kid and going through all of this and just in the space of three to four years. Separation, death, loss, separation, loss and abandonment. I spent a better part of my early childhood angry at the world. I didn’t know what to do with the anger and hurt in my heart and head.