Flashbacks

My son Anthony’s dad has been in town the last three days. I was told on Monday that his dad and his live in girlfriend would be in town for a few days and that they would be here Tuesday.

I’ve never begrudged Anthony a relationship with Jeff. However, I have told Anthony that there will never be anything between Jeff and myself.

This whole week has been anxiety for me. The only thing I see when I see Jeff is all the abuse — physical and emotional — he put me through. Today I hung out with Jeff, his girlfriend and Anthony at the request of Anthony and well Jeff’s girlfriend has been inviting me along all week. So today I finally decided to just bite the bullet and do it.

Jeff behaved himself for the most part while he was here. He did give a slight attitude when I asked him to help Anthony take some clothes that no longer fit to the second hand store. I wasn’t going to have it. I just stood my ground. Like you don’t get to come in to town and be good time parent and not do any work while you’re here after you have been out of Anthony’s life since the age of 1.5 yrs old. You can help out do whatever needs to be done while you’re here.

He did buy him a new pair of sandals and he did take him for a haircut. He also paid for Anthony to eat three days in a row.

All I kept seeing today as I hung out with Anthony was the one time Jeff had me pinned against my apartment door threatening to kill me. The time he slapped me while I was trying to get Anthony down for a nap. The times he yelled at me when he was drunk when we lived in Seneca. I put on a brave face for my son today. Inside I wanted to hop on a city bus and return to the solitude and protection of my home.